Craziness

It's been a crazy couple of months, but I am finally down to wire. I finish my treatments in about a month. 2 more treatments and then I should be completely healthy again. I feel better than ever at this moment, more energy, happier, and a new outlook on life. I know after this experience things will never be the same with me. I have lost friends and people I cared about, but I also realized who truly honestly cared about me. I'm content that I have those people in my life, even if there are one or two that I very rarely get to see and miss terribly.

Losing my hair was probably the hardest part of this. I was able to handle the looks of pity, rude comments, the not knowing what going to happen next, but the hair loss was to rough. It was like I lost a part of who I was, I haven't felt like the same person, or beautiful in such a long time. It's still a little hard to look at my self in the mirror at times, but what I see is not me. It was just so hard....sometimes I still cry over it. I mean a lot of me was wrapped up into my hair and I didn't realize it until I lost it.

I have always appreciated the small things in life, like the sunset thunderstorms, nature...but not I appreciate them even more. There is so much around us that we simply take for granted, and when faced with a life altering disease I see the beauty in everything around me. I actually do stop and smell the roses.

Cancer was the hardest thing in my life, but it was also one of the best.