The Bible

Lately I have been working harder to read my Bible more. I felt like I was letting God down by not reading it as often as I should. I woke up early this morning to read a little bit before I started my day and really I feel better than I would have if I didn't read it. I spent about half an hour reading and got very far and learned a lot. Sometimes I come across scripture that are meaningful to me and say a lot even in the Old Testament. A lot of people don't think there is a lot in there that could make a difference for someone, but it does. I love it.

The Bible teaches us so much. Some of my favorite stories and books of the Bible have made a huge impact on my life. Song of Solomon talks about relationships and I have applied the things it talks about in my relationship and I think my current relationship is a lot better because of that. I try to be as strong and couragous as Queen Ester and of course loving, forgiving and everything else that Jesus was.

The more I read, the more I enjoy it and learn. I love it, and hope I can keep up with reading it more daily than I have in the past.

YES Camp

I leave for camp in a week and a half. I cannot wait. Y.E.S. Camp is a camp for underprivilaged kids. It doesn't cost as much as other summer week long camps, and we even have scholarships in case there is a child who can't pay to go.

The camp is split in two different parts, Junior Camp, and Senior Camp. I am going to be one of the cabin directors for Junior camp and I cannot wait. I will be teaching young kids about the love of Jesus while playing games, and talking to them in our cabin.

The hard part will being unable to talk to Todd the whole time I am there because we get up at seven and get to bed around nine, and the whole time we will be active and busy, no time for phone calls. Goodness that would be hard: a week without seeing him, but also not being able to talk to him. But it should be fun; I can't wait!

Mylot

I have been spending some time on a website called Mylot. What it does is you respond to different discussions, and depending on the quality of the response, you get paid! There are payouts as low as 10 dollars or as high as 100 dollars. You get paid after each month, so you have a month to earn as much as you could, and if you don't met the payout you want, your earnings roll over.

Mylot is a great site. I have made many different friend through the site and earned a great deal of money through the site. While it doesn't make you rich in a short amount of time, you can earn a little extra cash and you can save it or link it to your paypal account to a savings account and add a little bit of money at a time. You would be amazed at how much it all adds up to in a short time when you save and mylot can help with that.

Mylot is a great site I love it. I spend a little bit of time each day on it just responding to discussions while I do other things. I am there right now as I write this. I spend time there while talking on yahoo im with my boyfriend or playing games with him. It doesn't take alot of time.

Things Fall Apart

Things Fall Apart is by a wonderful author: Chinua Achebe. The novel takes a look at something Chinua knows best: a Nigerian tribe. It goes through the traditions and rituals that the Ibo tribe goes through. It shows that even if a culture is different from what we know doesn't make it uncivilized or uncultured. It goes through everything that the tribe could have faced including another culture coming and trying to change things.

Chinua's writing style is amazing. He reaches to his audience and keeps them wanting more. I have read this novel and craved more of his work so I bought several of his other novels. Things Fall Apart can really teach students and non students alike something special and important. Tolerance. His descriptions of the nation, the settings, and even the feelings of the characters makes you feel like you are just watching it happen, not reading it..

..if there was one book that you should read this summer: Things Fall Apart would have to be the book.

This Presenet Darkness

This Present Darkness is a great novel by Frank Peretti. It is the first out of a two part series: Piercing The Dark is the second one. But This Present Darkness goes into what it is like to be powerless against demonic forces, but also has the power of prayer and angelic forces. It focuses on a small town pastor and his parisioners and a few other random people throughout the town. It goes through how dangerous some things can be for a Christian to get involved in.

The battle that ensues between the two sides are amazing. Peretti's description of the demons are remarkable: one has a hard time generally picturing demons, But Peretti's demons tend to resemble what we would expect from evil forces of any size. He shows the dynamic between the higher up demons and the lowly smaller demons of doubt and depression. Each thing has it's own demon: depression, doubt, fear, anger, rape, etc...all demons in Peretti's world of This Present Darkness and Piercing The Dark.

Exercise

I think sometimes that exercise is pointless unless it is something you enjoy doing. I mean I love to go swimming, hiking, biking, and doing yoga and pilates. But some of the things I like: swimming, hiking and biking, I like to do with someone else. Not so much as to have someone to talk to or anything, but just the company.

While at home I can only walk to on the treadmill for about 10 minutes or so: not very long, but when I am walking with Todd, i could walk for hours if need be. This past weekend we walked a bike trail and it was about 3 miles in and out (1 1/2 each way). It was so nice, it was a beautiful day and we were in nature. But when I am at home, I just walk in the house while reading or watching television. Not all the fun really. But at the same time walking as much as I have, I have lost the little pouch in my stomach. That I am happy about haha.

Exercise is important, my doctors told me so. So I am working on doing the exercise that he wants me to do, as often as he wants me to do. But sometimes it's just so hard to get into the grove of things. Maybe that's just something I need to work on.

Frustrations

I am getting so frustrated with my boyfriend right now. He knows he can't eat certain things yet he still eats them and then wonders and complains that he feels like crap and can't function. If you are allergic to something DON'T EAT IT! Yet he still eats it, and when he eats the stuff he shouldn't he really binges which makes it worse. Granted while in the hospital he ate wheat and dairy, but if he had told the nurses that he was allergic to them, then they could have designed a special diet for him, yet he didn't. So two weeks of eating bad stuff has done it's tole of course.

Now he's trying to get his stomach back on track, but still eats the things that he shouldn't be eating. How does that help? and with him not eating right he's not sleeping right, which makes him feel more like crap and he doesn't have energy to do anything much less drive to see me and spend time at church or Bible Study which is highly important.

I don't know what to do anymore. I've said all I can, but he still eats what he shouldn't eat, and all i can do is still say the same things and hope he listens and gets it through his thick head that he cannot digest wheat and dairy like most people can.

Fears

We all have fears in our lives. Some are justified and some are just plain silly. Right now my biggest fear is losing Todd. I just have this feeling that there is something really trying to pull us apart. He was in the hospital for a while and came home today and now is talking about going out of state for some stuff. And I have this fear that if that happens we won't be as strong as we are. I know he needs help with some things and I am trying to not be selfish, but it's hard to not think about what would happen to our relationship and our power for God if he leaves now.

I don't know what to do I am in tears right now. I am afraid I won't see him for so long. I haven't seen him for two weeks, and if he goes to Ohio, who knows how long it would be before we get to see each other again and be in each others arms. For the past two weeks all I wanted to do was hold his hand, pray with him and read the Bible with him but I couldn't because I couldn't be at the hospital with him, and now there is no way that I could do that. How can I be the Song of Solomon girl when he is in another state?

Life

Life can be hard sometimes. Things come up and you never know what will come out of this. Recently my boyfriend was admitted to the hospital for health problems and has had tests, and operations and what not to finally get him fixed. It all worked and there is still a few more things that need to be done, so he's still in the hospital.

The hard part is since I don't drive I can't be with him as often as I would like. I want to be there every day but out of the two weeks he has been there I have only been able to see him twice. It's so hard and sometimes I feel like it makes me a bad girlfriend or makes him think that I don't love him as much as I say. It's just hard to not feel that way sometimes. I do love my boyfriend with all my heart and I want to be there with him holding his hand and doing everything I can to help make him feel better. I know he needs me, but I can't be there. It's so frustrating and so hard! I call him like 3 or 4 times a day just to see how he is feeling, I'm sure he's getting tired of me calling so much lol.

I think sometimes we get worried so much and fear the worst. I know I was. I had faith that God would take care of him and heal whatever it was that causing him problems and he did, but not the way I wanted him to, but still he healed him and I praise God for that. I just wish I could drive to go see him, work and so much more.